When you have been undergoing infertility treatment like IVF therapy, the ultimate good news is the news when you receive the call that you are in fact pregnant. It is a joy like no other and really validates all of the hard times that a couple goes through with their fertility struggles.
The positive pregnancy test is a sign that (hopefully) the hard times are over and that a couple is well on their way to starting a family and putting the past behind them. There are sometimes a lot of difficult feelings that come along with getting pregnant after IVF, and those feelings are perfectly normal.
The first emotion that couples usually feel when getting the news that they are pregnant is overwhelming joy and relief. When you have wished for something for as long as most couples who go through IVF have wished for a baby, you can’t help but be extremely happy.
It’s like reaching the ultimate goal that you have set for yourself. Most couples feel extremely excited and even giddy upon receiving the good news that they are in fact pregnant.
Another very normal emotion that comes up when a couple who has been through IVF finds out they are pregnant is fear. Once a couple is pregnant, they are putting the IVF and infertility period of their life behind them and starting a new path, the path to pregnancy and parenthood. The thing is, they might not know much about pregnancy and parenthood, and that can be scary.
Couples might be afraid that there will be problems with the pregnancy and that they will continue to have difficulties. Or they might be afraid of becoming parents and what that change will mean for them. Fear is a very normal emotion when pregnancy is a new thing.
Another emotion that many women experience after getting pregnant following IVF is guilt. It is very normal for infertile women to make friends with other women who are suffering from fertility problems. Women might go to support groups, or they might make friends online.
However, when a woman gets pregnant after IVF, she might feel extremely guilty that she is “winning” while all of her other infertile friends are still “losing”. This guilt can be compounded when pregnant moms are planning baby showers, parties, etc. and are not sure how to include their infertile friends without making them feel sad.
Another, less talked about emotion that occurs when a formerly infertile woman gets pregnant after IVF is confusion. Getting pregnant when you have been dealing with not being able to get pregnant for a long time can cause sort of an identity crisis for a woman.
Going from “infertile” to “pregnant woman” to “mom” can be a huge change for a woman, and it is definitely something that women have to work through. Just keep in mind that all of the conflicting and sometimes unexpected emotions that come with getting pregnant after IVF are completely normal emotions to feel.